If Only I Loved You More
by PyrokineticFeral
Summary: Shuichi is attacked one night. A man from Yuki's past returns. Bonds are formed. Bonds are Broken. Will Yuki and Shuichi's relationship survive? [YukiXShu]
1. Default Chapter

If Only I Loved You More

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**Shuichi is attacked one night on his way home from practice just as he reaches Yuki's home. A man from Yuki's past returns with some interesting information. Bad Luck breaking up? Bonds are formed. Bonds are Broken. Will Yuki and Shuichi's relationship survive?**

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"Yuki's gonna kill me!" Shuichi yelled as he reached out and grabbed the street light pole to help him turn the corner faster. As the pink headed boy ran down the street, he glanced at his watch. It was already 10:30. He glanced up as he felt the light drops of rain fall onto him. Little by little, the pace of the rain increased, and soon it was pouring.

Soon, he smiled, seeing the metal gates that rested outside of Yuki's place. Standing by the streetlight next to the gate, was a blonde headed man dressed in black. Shuichi laughed and lifted one arm into the air as he waved, "Yu-ki!" he called out. The blonde looked in Shuichi's direction and let a puff of smoke escape from his mouth, before replacing the cigarette.

Shuichi continued to laugh as he ran towards the man, but just as he stepped onto the sidewalk, he realized that this man was not who he had thought. "Sorry I thought you were-". The man reached out and quickly grabbed Shuichi by the wrist, and spun him around, slamming him into the white painted concrete wall. Shuichi let out a gasp and a cry of pain. "Hey stop!"

The man pinned Shuichi's arms to the wall at his sides and leaned foward so that they were only inches apart. A grin donned his face. Shuichi yanked one of his arms free and yelled as he swung his hand, scratching the man arcoss his eye. The man growled and pinned both of the boys hands above his head. "You little slut" he cursed, and grabbed his cigarette. He pressed it against the side of Shuichi's neck" God Damned Fags, Get the hell out of Japan"

The pink headed boy let out a loud cry. "Yuki!" Tears blossomed in his eyes as he tried to pull free, but couldnt. The man leaned foward, muffling his cries with a rough kiss. He pulled Shuichi away from the wall, and slammed him back, hitting his head against the wall. Shuichi began to slide down the wall, but the man grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "Stop singing, little fuck. Stop singing" He spat, then slammed him into the wall again. He yanked at the boy's collar again as he shoved him to the ground. The collar ripped, stretching his shirt to fall down his shoulder. The man laughed and kicked Shuichi in the side, then began to walk away, "your music fucking sucks, fucking fag."

Shuichi rested there for a moment, letting the tears stream down his face before he stood and began to hobble to the gate. He pushed it open and entered the house grounds. Why hadnt Yuki come to his rescue?

He stopped his crying as he entered the house. All the lights were off, so he figured that Yuki had already gone to sleep. He squinted and began to make his way through the living room and up the stairs.

Once he reached the top, he stopped at the door to Yuki's room. He crept into the room and saw Yuki laying in the bed, fast asleep, a glass and two pills next to it. Yuki must have been stressed again. He turned to leave.

"What took you so long to get home?" The blonde man asked, sitting up groggily. Shuichi froze and looked at him with wide eyes. Yuki turned on the light, and reached up, scratching his head. "Well?" he asked with an annoyed tone, then squinted. "What the hell happened?"

The blonde began to get out of bed and Shuichi stepped back. Yuki looked at him oddly, and walked towards him. He backed Shuichi into the wall, and the boy's eyes began to tear up again. Yuki looked at the side of his neck. "Jesus Shuichi". He touched the spot around the burn mark.

Shuichi bit his lip and closed his eyes, then turned away. Yuki pulled his hand back. "Dont touch me" The pink haired boy said.

"What?" Yuki asked, confused. Normally, Shuichi was begging to be touched. He sighed, "Who did this to you?". Shuichi shook his head, and didnt answer.

Yuki wrinkled his nose and sighed loudly before reaching out and pulling Shuichi into a gently embrace. Shuichi rested against his chest, "You didnt help me.."

"What?"

Shuchi pulled away. "I called for you...I cried for help, and you didnt come". Yuki stared down at him and Shuichi blinked, "Yuki, do you love me like I love you?".

Yuki let him go, and turned around, running a hand through his hair again.

"Yuki?"

-

A/N: I know its kind of short for the first chapter, but Im depating on whether or not Im going to finish the story. What do you all think?


	2. Not This Again

**If Only I Loved You More**

**Authors Note:** Im sorry it took so long for me to get the next chapter up. I wasnt able to get to a computer to type up the next chapter. Dont you just hate it when friends accidently send viruses attatched in their emails? On the bright side, it gave me plenty of time to brainstorm for the upcoming chapters.

Also, Im looking for someone who could give me a hand with the story...any one willing to do some editing, please email me at Sassy2021111 at yahoo dot com.

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**Chapter Two **

**Not this Again**

Shuichi sat quietly at the small table in the kitchen with his hands wrapped around a cup of warm tea. He sighed quietly, "Why couldnt Yuki tell me he loved me?". He took a sip of the drink, then pushed the cup away as his lover entered the kitchen.

"Your still here?" Yuki asked as he began to pour himself some coffee.

"Im not going to practice anymore" Shuichi said, glancing at the blonde writer.

Yuki lifted his mug and took a sip of the coffee, raising a brow then sighing, "That old story again". There had been many times where Shuichi had attempted to drop the band, but it never seemed to work.

"Yuki! Im serious!" Shuichi exclaimed, standing up and pressing his palms against the table. "That guy almost killed me because of my music! He hated it enough to come after me! That doesnt worry you? Dont you care about me Yuki?"

"What other people thought of you never bothered you before" Yuki casually pointed out.

"But this time...I have no one to fall back on" Shuichi said sadly, sitting back down. Yuki glanced up and stared at the pink haired singer. What was that comment supposed to mean?

"Come on, I'll drop you off"

"Im not going" Shuichi restated. "I quit".

As if on cue, everyones favorite gun-slinging blond burst through the door, with his guns extended. "Shuichi Shindou, you are late you have five seconds to explain why you are not already at the studio. Five...four...three...two..."

"Ahh!" Shuichi exclaimed and sheilded his face. "Yu-ki! do something! I dont want to sing anymore!"

The writer sighed, "I'll wait for you tonight, now get the hell out of my house"

Shuichi's eyes lit up. So Yuki did care! "Yay! Yu-kiiii" He extended his arms to jump and hug the man, but K grabbed him by his hood, stopping him in mid air. "Have a nice day Mr. Eiri Yuki"

Soon, the house because very quiet and Yuki sighed. Turning around, he rested against the counter. The boys comment still lingered in his mind. Yuki had always protected him when he needed it...execpt for last night.

The phone rang, breaking Yuki from his thoughts. He let it ring twice before answering. "Yeah" he spoke.

"Yuki, its me" His publisher spoke. "Im calling to remind you about the meeting at the restaurant".

"I cant make it. I have something important to do today" He replied. He pulled the phone from his ear as the woman began to nag about how the meeting was very important.

"Alright, I'll be there, but I'll be late" He finally replied, then hung up. Sometimes, that woman really annoyed him. He waited a moment before picking up the phone again.

"Tohma" a voice came from the other line.

"Its me. I need to talk to you now. Be at the park in an hour"

"Yuki Dear, I'll be there in half" Came from the other line. "Oh, and Yuki, is everything alright between you and Mr. Shindou?"

"Why?"

"He refuses to sing. He simply sits there with his arms crossed over his chest. Im afraid that Mr. K is getting a bit impatient"

Yuki was silent for a moment. "See you at the park", and with that, he hung up.

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"Hey Hiro! You wanna go to a kareokee bar with me today?" Shuichi asked, uncrossing his arms. 

Hiro looked at his best friend oddly, "Kareokee bar? You'll sing there but not here?" The guitarist asked.

Shuichi shrugged. "Is that a yes or a no?"

"Cant, I have a date with Ayaka today" Hiro grinned. "Why dont you ask Yuki to go with you?"

Shuichi looked down.

"You guys are fighting again?" Hiro asked with a loud sigh.

Ryuichi smacked Shuichi upside the head with Kumagoro, "I'll go with you! I love kareokee, and so does Kumagoro!". Nuriko hit the hyper singer on the head. "No can do Ryu, we have to do an autograph signing remember?"

"Oh yeah..." Ryu said saddly, then perked up. "I can find someone to go with you!"

"Who?" Shuichi asked, interested.

He leaned foward, so that he was only a few inches away from Shuichi's ear. "Its a SUPRISE!"

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"Whats on your mind Eiri?" Tohma asked, sitting down on the bench near the fountain. Yuki sat down next to him. "Shuichi was attacked last night, just outside the house. The bastard burned him on the side of the neck" 

Tohma nodded, "I see, do not feel responsible Eiri. Its not your fault"

"I want to find the bastard who did it Tohma" Yuki answered.

Tohma nodded, "Yuki, I have some interesting information to share with you. Last night, I came across Hiraji Aizaki and Maxwell Right"

The names were like knives to his back. His eyes clouded over with hate and he leaned over, covering his face. The names were ones that would be in his mind forever. They were the names of the men that had gotten away the night he had become a murderer.

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Final Notes: Thanks to everyone who reviewed my first chapter! I hope everyone enjoys this chapter just ask much! 

Syaoran, thanks for the the great review! Im glad you were able to picture the attack! I try to be as detailed as possible when I can. Dont worry, I'll continue the story!

Jewi Lih, Im not fond of that word either, but I had to be realistic when I portrayed the attacker. Done worry, that word wont come out too often in the story.

DarkMetalAngel, Dont worry! Yuki will suffer plenty in this story!

Pikapikaryuchan, Dont cry! Please Dont cry! Look, heres another chapter!


	3. Stalkers and Cameras

**If only I Loved you More**

**Disclaimer:** I dont own any of the characters in this story..execpt for Yuki! Back of girls! Just kidding..saddly, I dont own anyone .

**Authors Note:** Im going to try to update atleast once a week now, since I've alreay writen down the entire story. Does that sound okay with you all?

Also, I was wondering, do you all prefer longer, more detailed chapters, or shorter chapters? When I was writing it out on paper the chapters came out to be quite long, and I dont want to post the entire thing if no ones going to read it...

Oh! And thanks for all the reviews! I really appreciate them and Im glad to know that so many people like my story. I'll be replying to some of the reviews at the end of the chapter. Thanks!

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**Chapter 3 **

**Stalkers and Cameras**

"Thisss isss great!" Shuichi slurred, lifting his glass into the air and then plunking it back down on the table. Tatsuha forced himself not to laugh as he rested his chin in his palm. Ryuichi had promised to go to the zoo with him, if he did him the favor of accomanying Shuichi for the night. Of course, it was something he couldnt turn down. Still, he wondered why Shuichi hadnt asked Yuki.

"Ha ha! I think you've had enough to drink" Tatsuha laughed, wrapping an arm around Shuichi's shoulders to keep him from moving around so much. So far, no one had noticed that it was Shuichi of Bad Luck that was making all the racket, and if possible, he wanted to keep it that way. Tatsuha didnt feel like running from a mob today.

"Okay! Time to go home to Yuki!" He then said to Shuichi, since his attempt to calm the boy down hadnt worked. People were beginning to look, and one woman was even beginning to walk towards them!

Amazingly, Shuichi stopped bouncing about, and stared at Tatsuha. He looked distracted, but he looked none-the-less. "I dont wanna" he said, wrapping an arm around Tatsuha's neck. "I waaanna stay riiiiight-" he pointed at Tatsuha's chest "-here".

Okay. So the boy was really drunk. Tatsuha grinned. He was really drunk...and he looked like Ryuichi...what a great thing. "Okay, I wont make you go back to Yuki right now". Yuki was going to kill him for this. He helped Shuichi up and began to lead him towards the car. "Come on".

Why had he let Shuichi drink so much? He was so hard to move! The boy was like mush. He picked the boy up, to carry him over his shoulder, and Shuichi wrapped his legs around Tatsuha's waist, resting his arms over his shoulder, and pressing his face against the older males neck. He grummbled something, but Tatsuha ignored it.

He stopped at the car, and took out the keys. He glanced up as it began to rain. A flash went off. "Damn, just my luck. Lightning too" he muttered, opening the door to the back seat. He helped Shuichi in.

The pink haired teen gagged, and threw up all over the back seat. Tatsuha's lips curled. "Shu!" he growled, "My car!". He leaned into the back seat, and took off his shirt to use to clean the mess.

_This is sick_, he thought.

Another flash.

He then helped Shuichi out of his shirt, since he had thrown up all over it as well. _Sick_.

Another flash.

Once the mess was cleaned as best as it could be, he pushed Shuichi down gently. "Sleep". He sounded annoyed.

He rolled down the back seat windows. Hopefully, the air would help get rid of the smell until he could get it professionally cleaned. The things I do for you Ryu, he thought, closing his eyes.

Another flash.

Sighing, he went to the drivers seat, and began the drive to Yuki's house. He had told Shuichi he wouldnt make him go back to Yuki's, but he didnt want Shu throwing up all over his appartment.

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Yuki glanced at his watch before unlocking the door and entering his house. It was late, nearly 10:30, and Shuichi had yet to show up. He had even missed the dinner that Yuki had promised to make him. 

He had stood outside the house, smoking a cigarette, hoping to see the boy show up, but he never did, and now, he was just annoyed. How dare the kid stand him up. Was this pay back for not being there to rescue him when he needed him the most? No. Shuichi wasnt like that. Maybe something had gone wrong.

He took off his shoes, and began to walk towards the kitchen. He'd give Tohma a call and see if maybe Shuichi was still at the N-G building. As he neared the kitchen, he squinted. A camera rested on the counter.

He reached out to grab it, but never managed to. A sharp pain filled the back of his head as he tumbled to the ground. His vision blurred as he reached back and grabbed the back of his head. "Shuichi" he whispered.

Normally, whenever he was in some sort of trouble, the boy bursted through the wall-never the door- to rescue him...but why was his wall still whole?

He began to stand, when another blow came to the back of his head. He tumbled down once more as things began to grow black. The last thing he saw, was the bright flash of a camera, and a single word was uttered.

"Kitzawa"

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**Review Replies**

**Kitty in the Box**, Im glad you liked the comment by Shu. Later on in the story, you'll see he really doesnt have anyone to fall back on...

**pikapikaryuchan**, Beware for more plot twists in up-coming chapters Laughs evily

**Guren**, Your review for chapter one didnt come in until after I loaded the chapter, so I couldnt have thanked you for it. Thanks for reviewing though! Im glad you like the story.

**Syaoran is kawaii**, Yuki doesnt care about Shuichi! He cares about me and only me! Just kidding. Yeah, in this story, Yuki's emotions will be put to the test, and how he really feels will be revealed...

**DarkMetalAngel of Destruction**, Alot of people hurt Shuichi in this fic...looks like alot of people will have hell to pay..

**Amanda**, it was just your browser? anime fall I spent forever trying to figure out what was wrong, and couldnt find anything! Thanks for the review though:)

**uncertainty**, Heres your update!

A/N: Stay tuned for the next chapter...


	4. Falling Apart

**If only I Loved you More**

Disclaimer: I dont own any of the characters in this story..execpt for Yuki! Back of girls! Just kidding..saddly, I dont own anyone

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The house had been locked, and Yuki hadnt answered the door, so Shuichi had been forced to spend the night at Tatsuha's appartment.

Shuichi groggily entered the kitchen of Tatsuha's apartment and approached Tatsuha, though he didnt realize who he was just yet, since he was experiencing a hang over and was still half asleep.

He wrapped his arms around the man's neck and nibbled on his ear before dropping his head down on Tatsuha's shoulder. "Yuki..I dont feel good.."

"Thats what you get for drinking so much Shu. Im not Yuki" He turned in his seat and grinned, grabbing the boys face, "But if you want me to pretend I am..." He leaned foward teasingly. Shuichi squinted, blinked then shoved Tatsuha away.

"Gah! Where's Yuki?" he asked, his eye twitching slightly.

"Well good morning to you too" The brunette chuckled, standing up and pushing the chair in. "Want something to drink?"

"Where's Yuki..." He glanced back and foward "Wheres Yuki's house?"

"Your at my apartment genius" Tatsuha spoke. "I went to drop you off at Yuki's last night but he wasnt there"

Shuichi pressed his hands on his temples to try to stop his headache, "He must have been really mad at me..."

"Actually, he was in the hospital. Still is" Tatsuha answered casually.

Shuichi gasped lightly, and stared off into space with wide eyes. Yuki was in the hospital? He turned on his heel, but Tatsuha grabbed him, "He probably doesnt want to see you now Shu"

"I dont care I-" Shuichi stopped as Tatsuha held the newspaper out to him.

The flashes Tatsuha had seen last night hadnt been lightning after all...

His light colored eyes narrowed as he stared at the headline on the front of the newspaper, then dropped down to scan over the pictures.

So thats why Shuichi hadnt come to his rescue. He had been too busy getting frisky in the back of a car with his brother.

Not wanting him to feel any more stress, Tohma had assured him that it had all been one big misunderstanding, that Shuichi could never do that to Yuki. Yuki didnt buy it.

It made sense that Shuichi would end up with Tatsuya. Yuki treated Shu so badly. He knew that eventually, Shuichi would have gotten fed up..he just didnt think it would hurt this much.

"Damn you, Shuichi" He muttered, tossing the paper aside, letting it fall apart on the floor.

A knock came from the door and Tohma entered, "Yuki, you're up. Im glad". He walked to the bed side and set a newspaper down infront of him. "What would you like me to do about this?"

Yuki crossed his arms, "Shuichi is free to do as he pleases".

Toham pushed the newspaper foward, "I was not refering to the article about Mr. Shindou"

Yuki looked down and blinked slightly, picking up the newspaper. Surely, there was another disturbing headline, but this time, it was about him and his rape.

Yuki glared and tossed the paper aside with the other one. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. Tohma hugged him gently, resting his head atop of Yuki's.

"I apologize for not being there to protect you Yuki. I will find those responsible for this, I assure you"

"Theres no need. You already found one of us"

Both Tohma and Yuki looked towards the door, staring at the brunette that stood there. Tohma stood calmly, "Hiraji Aizaki"

The man nodded and grinned, looking over to Yuki. "Uesugi. How ya feeling?" He taunted.

"Bastard" Yuki muttered.

Hiraji laughed, "We didnt mean to go as far as we did, but we couldnt help ourselves you see". He entered the room and closed the door behind him. "We really arent after you at all"

Tohma moved foward, "What do you want Aizaki?"

"Hmph. You should both know...my boys and I only have an interest in children".

"Children.." Tohma repeated, glancing at Yuki. Yuki glanced back at Tohma, then both realized their mistake. The minute they had turned around, Hiraji had left the room.

"Yuki.." Tohma spoke, turning once again to look at the blonde in the bed. Yuki leaned over, covering his mouth, blood dripping from between his fingers.

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Syaoran is kawaii: Life is full of mystery isnt it . Especially for Yuki!

DarkMetalAngel of Destruction: Shuichi will be okay now..for a while Laughs Evily

uncertainty: Hiro will be coming in in the next chapter. He'll become a major character in the plot.

Guren: I remembered to mention you this time! Keep reading:D

Kitty in the Box: Kitzawa will never truly die!


	5. Crashing Down around me

If Only I loved you More

By: PyrokineticFeral

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**Disclaimer:** I dont own any characters in this story, but I do own the ideas. 

**Authors Notes:** Ah, testing week is finally over and spring break has arrived. Along with spring break, came many new ideas! I hope you all enjoy them. I've decided to reply to the reviews before I start the chapter this time. I hope no one minds.

**Review Replies:** To my newest reviewers, Kakarots-Frying-Pan and akuma-river: Im glad you both came across the story and Im glad you've enjoyed it! Kakarots, I hope you check out my other Gravitation fics, once I get them up :), akuma-river, your starting to figure things out so soon!

Syaoran is kawaii, Yeah, the article really played with Yuki's mind. It goes to show that the media really can ruin things...keep an eye out for more camera men...

Uncertainty, Gasp! Hiro is gone...but him going to New York is very important, you'll see it all fall into place.

Kitty in the Box, Kitazawa will never die! Atleast not until the end of the fic .

Swang, Guren, DarkMetalAngel of Destruction, here are your updates!

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**Chapter 5**

**Crashing Down Around Me**

Shuichi stood infront of the microphone with a depressed look on his face, staring off into space. Tatsuha had convinced him to not go visit Yuki, but every bone of his body was telling him to dash out and visit his lover.He needed to be there with Yuki, let him know that Shuichi needed him.

If only K hadnt been standing at the door with a gun.He began to consider the option ofrisking his life in an attempt to fight K for his gun and make a break for it.

He had finally had all the details to his plan worked out but then,his cell phone rang. By the ring, he knew who it was. It was his best friend.

"Shuichi" Hiro spoke. Wherever he was, it was loud. He could hear many different voices talking in the background. Most of them were in english."We need to talk".

"Hiro, where are you? We need to practice" Shuichi said into the phone. They had a concert coming up in less than two days. They had alot of work to do.

Suguru moved out from behind the synthesizer and closer to Shuichi, to try to listen in on the conversation.

Sakano took off his glasses and wiped them against his jacket, already beginning to have a nervous break down. Something was wrong, he knew it. He could feel it.

"I wont be able to make it to practice...or to the next concert." Hiro stated "Ayaka asked me to come to New York with her last night, and I just couldnt say no" He felt bad letting his best friend down, but he was sure Shuichi would understand. Shuichi had been willing to give up everything to be with Yuki.

It was because of that, that Hiro was sure that Shu would understand how he felt about Ayaka.

Shuichi stared with wide eyes. First, he was attacked outside his "Home", then Yuki gets mad at him, then Yuki got raped..and now his best friend had left him.

"Hiro..." he said quietly, glancing down.He was quiet as Hiro continued to speak on the phone, then he quietly hung up.

K lowered his shades and rested his rifle against his shoulder. "Well?"

"Hiro...quit the band"

Sakano dropped his glasses and quickly bent over to pick them up. "H-he what? Oh dear..today cant get any worse!" But indeed, it did, for the next cell phone to ring was Sakano's, and it was Tohma on the other line.

Nervously, he answered the phone. He rarely spoke, but nodded many times. Finally, the call ended with a "yes sir" and Sakano looked to Shuichi.

"Mr. Eiri Yuki wants to see you" Sakano told the pink haired musician.

Shuichi nodded once, confused. Was Yuki no longer mad at him?

K allowed him to leave, so Shuichi raced towards the hospital and didnt even bother asking what room Yuki was in. He simply went door to door to door until he saw his lovers name across the door.

When he came to the door, he stopped for a moment to listen in. Yuki was saying something to Tohma, and Tohma for once, was protesting. He opened the door just a bit, and peeked inside. "Yuki?" he said gently.

Tohma looked up and sighed. "I will come visit later Eiri" Tohma spoke, before leaving the room.

Shuichi stood at the foot of the bed, looking at Yuki, smiling gently. "I was so glad when you said you wanted to see me I thought you-"

"Shut up"

Shuichi quickly shut up and blinked "But Yuki I thought you-"

"I wanted you to come so I can tell you to get your things out of my apartment. I dont want you there anymore. I dont want to see you anymore period."

"W-what?"

"You heard me. I want you gone. For good this time Shuichi"

"But I-" Shuichi protested, but was silenced by Yuki as he threw the news paper containing the article of Shuichi and Tatsuha in the car together.

The paper hit Shuichi in the face, and warm tears sprung to his eyes. So Yuki had finally had it, and with Hirogone, he really had no one now.

Silently, he nodded. "Okay Yuki, you'll never see me again. I promise". He kept his head lowered, staring at the ground for a moment.

Yuki was suprised. Shuichi wasnt fighting back. He was actually giving in. He let Shuichi leave, and remained silent, listening. He was sure he'd hear the boy outside crying, but he didnt.

Shuichi was really gone.

* * *

A/N: Shuichi Shindou goes missing. Yuki realizes his mistake. Hiro gets into trouble while in New York. Stay tuned for more Drama! 


	6. Moving Attacks

**Chapter 6 **

**Moving attacks**

_Warning- Rated R: Rape Attempt, Dirty language_

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_Authors Note: Im apologizing before hand for such a crappy chapter. My mind was elsewhere when I started typing._ _I've gotten so many reviews this time, that I cant answer them individually. I want to thank everyone for reviewing though! You guys are a violent crowd! Ive been clawed, pounced on..tackled...all that to get me to update. I feel loved! _

* * *

Disappearing from Yuki's life meant leaving Bad Luck as well. If he remained with Bad Luck, he'd have to be near Tohma, and that was a straight link to Yuki. He was breaking away from it all, and no one would suspect a thing. They would have tried to stop him, and they just didn't understand. No one did anymore. 

"Im not going back to him this time" Shuichi told himself out loud as he looked up into the mirror. He then looked around, making sure he had packed all of his belongings. The apartment looked so odd, with so many boxes lying around. Shuichi had never realized he had brought so many things...but then again he had been there for so long now.

For old times sake, he began to walk around the apartment, trailing his hand along the wall. He couldn't believe he was leaving once and for all. He passed Yuki's study, and stopped at the door. He peered in, staring at the empty desk with the opened laptop.

I shouldn't touch it, he thought to himself as he approached the desk and rested his hands on the back of the chair. He pulled the chair out and took a seat behind the laptop, and opened a word program. He'd leave, he had promised he would, but not before leaving one final mark.

"Yuki, Its Shuichi...of course it is, who else would be dumb enough to mess with your lap top?. The apartment looks a little empty right now, but Im sure you'll fill it up in no time. Im still here, sitting in the apartment, and even though I havent left yet, it already hurts so much. I wish you would have loved me...wish you wouldn't have been so cold….maybe...maybe you would have changed..."

Shuichi stopped typing for a moment, thinking he heard a door open, but he was wrong

"...if only I loved you more"

He saved the document, and left it open for Yuki to see when he returned from the hospital. He stood and walked out of the room, and back towards the living room to get his bag. He sniffed, and ran his hand under his nose to prevent himself from crying, then glared at the room around him. "I hate you Yuki! I hate you for making me fall for you!"

"Poor kid. Love bites, don't it?"

Shuichi turned around, "I didn't know anyone was there...uh, you guys here to take my things?" he asked, slightly embarrassed.

"Yeah, Im Hiraji Aizaki. I'll make sure your things get to the port to be shipped out, and my partner here is Maxwell Right. He'll be making sure your things make it to California. Did you pack everything, or are there still a few things we need to pack up?" Hiraji lifted his role of duck tape and scanned the room. Maxwell set down a stack of empty boxes.

Shuichi adjusted the strap of his bag. "I put everything away...how long will it take to get my things to California?"

"Since its by boat, about a month" Maxwell replied.

"Okay, how much do I owe you?" Shuichi swung his bag around, so that it rested across his chest, and he dug into the small front pocket.

"Its been covered" Hiraji told him with a small grin, "and anyway, we don't accept cash"

Shuichi swung his bag back onto his back, "Its been covered for? By who?" No one knew what he was up to, so who would have done him the favor.

"Tohma Seguchi covered all the charges" Maxwell answered as he began to pack the boxes in front of the door. Hiraji glanced back at him, nodding once, then moved closer to Shuichi, "There is something you could give us though". He reached out, grabbing the pink haired by the wrists and pulling him towards himself.

Shuichi's eyes grew wide, then narrowed. "Hey! What are you doing?"

Maxwell finished stacking all the boxes, so that they blocked the door, and chuckled a bit, giving his friend a thumbs up. Hiraji chuckled as well, as he shoved Shuichi back, pushing him roughly onto the floor. He straddled the boy, and pinned his hands above his head, leaning forward to whisper in his ear, "Be a good little boy, and we'll leave Eiri alone. He's very sick right now...you wouldn't want us to make it...worse"

He reached under, allowing his hand to freely roam Shuichi's chest, and waited to see what the boy would say.

Maxwell moved over, and sat down next to Shuichi's head, "What'll it be?" He began to comb his hand through Shuichi's pink locks as he stared down at the worried boy.

Shuichi let out a loud yell, but Maxwell quickly silenced him by leaning over and kissing him on the lips. His tongue slid into the teen's mouth.

Shuichi's eyes narrowed and he bit down, biting as hard as he could. Maxwell flinched and let out a hell as he yanked himself away. "The bitch bit me" he said to Hiraji.

Hiraji glared and hit Shuichi across the face with the back of his hand as punishment. Shuichi began to bleed from his nose, and it dripped down to his mouth. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back slightly and let out another yell.

Maxwell lifted a fist and punched down at the center of Shu's chest, knocking the air out of him. Beads of sweat began to form on his forehead as he tried to catch his breath and he continued to move his arms in an attempt to free himself.

"L-leave Yuki alone" he finally said, as he slowly stopped moving.

Hiraiji looked interested. He looked up at Maxwell for a moment with raised brows then laughed. "Leave Yuki alone" he mocked. He leaned forward once again, and licked the side of Shuichi's face, stopping at his ear, "We'll think about it". Hiraji's hand slid down under Shuichi's pants, and the boy let out a loud cry.

"YUUUUUUUU-KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Maxwell gagged him and glared down at him. "I thought we had an agreement here brat?" he asked. He wrapped a free hand around Shuichi's wrists and yanked him up. "Come on Hiraji. Lets get going".

Shuichi felt relieved. They were leaving.

"Okay then, Come on Brat" They lifted him onto his feet, and quickly smacked a piece of tape across his mouth. Shuichi paniced again. They weren't leaving him behind, they were taking him with them! He squirmed, but because his feet were taped together, it was hard to move.

After a few moments of weak struggling, everything came to an end.

* * *

Hiro stared at Ayaka as she looked over a few books that rested on the table. She looked up at him, and smiled at him gently, "What is it Hiro?" 

"Nothing", he replied, walking up behind her and leaning over to look at what she was reading. "What are you reading?"

"It is a gardening book. I know we do not have a yard here, but I would still like to garden. " she admitted in a soft tone, as though she was ashamed of what she wanted to do.

"Hey, I could build you one of those boxes outside the window, and you can try to grow something there" He offered.

Ayaka closed the book and looked up at Hiro with another smile, "Thank you". Hiro smiled back down on her, and leaned in a bit, ready to kiss her, but she turned away with a light blush.

Hiro pulled away and sighed gently. Ayaka still wasn't completely comfortable with him yet. Atleast she trusted him enough the share an apartment with him. To him, that was a good step. Over time, now that they had to see each other everyday, she would grow to love him.

His cell phone rang and he quickly answered it, "Hello?"

"Hiro" K said calmly, though in reality he was dying to shove his hand through the phone and blow Hiro up with a grenade for leaving. "I wanted to call and see how you and Shindou were doing"

"I don't know, how is he?"

"He isn't with you?" K asked. Hiro could hear the man loading his guns on the other side.

Hiro's eyes narrowed and he leaned forward, pressing his palm against the wall. "No...he isn't here. K, whats going on?"

"He isn't with you? Oh hm. Well then soldier, we've got a mission on our hands. Mr. Shindou has dissapeared"

"What?" Hiro yelled into the phone, startling Ayaka. "What do you mean he dissapeared? I thought you were always following him...?"

"Once he quit Bad Luck, I didn't have to anymore, so I spent some time with my wife"

Hiro's eye twitched, "He quit Bad Luck?"

"Why does that sound suprising, you quit after all"

Hiro had nothing to say to that. It made him feel responsible for what was going on. "Im going home"

"No, he said he was going there. You wait it out, and maybe he'll show up" And with that, K hung up.

Hiro instantly dialed the number to Shuichi's cell phone and waited. He got voicemail the first time, so he called back again. Finally, the call was answered, "Shuichi, what's going on? Where are you?"

"Shuichi is a little busy right now" Maxwell spoke into the phone.

"He'll call you back once he gets to New York"

"Who is this?"

"Im Shuichi's new boyfriend. That mean Yuki hurt him"

Hiro hung up the phone, anger welling up inside of him. "Ayaka, I have to go", he grabbed his jacket and began to leave the living room, heading towards the door. But, once he got there, he spotted Ayaka standing in front of the open door way. Behind her was none other than Eiri Yuki. Hiro stared at him, still glaring. Yuki glared back.

"Im here for my lover. Now wheres the damn brat?"

* * *

A/N: Next chapter- Shu goes through some heavy tourcher, Yuki and Hiro fight. K goes to New York. 


	7. In New York

**If Only I Loved You More**

**In New York..**

* * *

Authors Note: Hello all! Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up. Ive been extremely busy with it being the end of the school year and all. I want to thank everyone for reviewing, especially **_akuma-river. _**Your review really blew me away! I didnt know anyone was paying that much attention to my story! Your right. It is just the tip of the iceberg. Things are only going to get worse. 

Also, I want to start advertising my new story as of now. It will be up by the end of this week, so please keep a look out. Its called, "Im True to My Word". Again, its another angsty story!

* * *

If Ayaka hadn't been standing there, Hiro was sure he would have attacked Yuki head on. One way or another, every time Shuichi suffered, it was somehow connected to Yuki, and Hiro was tired of it. 

"He isn't here. Actually, I was about to see you about Shuichi's whereabouts".

Ayaka glanced back and forward between the two males and finally lowered her head. "I will get us some tea, and we will be able to discuss this calmly. Yuki please, come in".

Having both Yuki and Hiro in the room at the same time, with no one else there aside from herself was a bit uncomfortable for her. Of course, who wouldn't find being in between your boyfriend and former fiance uncomfortable? She then began to walk towards the kitchen.

Yuki stared down at Hiro, and took his cigarette out of his mouth "No. Im leaving now". If Shuichi wasn't there, there was no reason for him to be there either. That was after all, the only reason he had gone there in the first place.

Hiro turned and shrugged a shoulder. "Suit yourself".

Yuki stared at the brunette for a moment longer, then turned around. He opened the door and took a step out. It was then that Hiro spoke up saying, "When will you ever realize how much Shuichi loves you? Are you that cold hearted that you have to continue hurting him? Maybe I was wrong in telling him to not give up on you."

Yuki stopped, and continued smoking his cigarette before he began to speak without turning around, "You make it seem like Im the evil one here. Shuichi's the one who came after me. He knew what he was getting into. I told him to back off, but he wouldn't listen. He did this to himself"

Yuki continued to walk, not bothering to close the door, "Don't blame your friends stupidity on me" he said as he walked down the hall.

Once he was far enough, he sighed. Didn't Hiro realize that he did Infact love Shuichi? Why else would he have traveled so far to find the brat?. It was as though no matter what he did, he would be the bad guy in the relationship.

This definitely hadn't gone the way he had planned.

He was angry that he had wasted his time, but at the same time, he was confused. He was positive that Shuichi would have been with Hiro. Where else would Shuichi have gone. Who else would he have turned to?

Then, the comment the brat had said days ago, echoed in his mind once more: I have no one left to fall back on..

He dropped his cigarette onto the floor, and smothered it with his foot, leaving the remains there before left the building. He took out his cell phone and made a call to his dear friend Tohma.

"Eiri, is everything alright?" The male on the other line asked.

"No. Its not. There was a problem with me coming to New York"

"What went wrong?"

"Shuichi isn't here damn it"

"Im Sorry Eiri I-" Tohma began, but was quickly cut off by the blonde on the other end.

"Don't apologize Tohma. Just shut up and find him".

On the other side end of the line, Tohma stood there, slightly shocked. Yuki had never snapped at him in such a way before. "Yes Eiri. I'll see what I can do"

Yuki hung up the phone and continued his way towards the old building. As much as he hated the past experiences of being in that building, he felt it was somewhere he needed to be now.

* * *

At first, they all sat there quietly, not really sure as to what to say or do, but finally, after an hour, K broke the silence as he stood from his seat. 

K paced back and forward inside the studio where Bad Luck usually practiced, tapping his gun against his forehead as he thought.

"Hiro's AWOL, and Shuichi is MIA. We've got ourselves an interesting situation here Mr. Sakano". He spoke with a smile, as though slightly excited by what was going on.

"How can you be so calm at a time like this!" Sakano exclaimed, grabbing at his own hair. "This is Terrible! Bad Luck has a concert soon, but there no longer is a bad luck….Shuichi's missing….and your smiling!"

K's smile grew as he pointed the gun at Sakano's head. "Im always happy when there's a chance of me shooting someone. You know I haven't shot anyone in a while Mr. Sakano, and Relax. We're going to fix this. Okay soldier, are you accepting this mission?"

He turned to look at Suguru, who stood there with a confused look on his face. Yes, being with Bad Luck definitely was bad luck. It had been nothing but trouble from the start. It had deprived Suguru of his sanity and peace of mind. It had pulled him from a world of normality and logic to a world of misunderstandings and confusion. The people were crazy. He found them very odd.

"Yeah. We have this concert to do, don't we? We cant let N-G down, after all its done for us"

"That's the spirit. Now, lets get you armed and ready"

"Armed and ready?"

"Of course, you cant go into a war zone empty handed Soldier, what's wrong with you?"

I think the question is, what's wrong with _you_? Suguru thought as K practically dragged him out of the room.

Sakano stood in the empty room, staring at the door. "Oh dear oh dear oh dear….Mr. Shindou! Where are you!"

* * *

Shuichi stared down at his shoes. It was all he could do to keep himself from crying. He didn't want them to know he was hurting. He was sure it would make them want to toy with him even more. 

He lifted his hand to play with the hat on his head, pulling it down over his face. He felt like such a child. Why couldn't he defend himself against these two?

The guys he and Hiro had taken down at the park the day they met Ayaka were a lot bigger, and they had handled it just fine.

_They_

Shuichi sighed. There was no longer a 'they', or a Yuki and Shuichi, or a Shuichi and bad luck, a Shuichi and Hiro. It was just Shuichi, Shuichi Shindou.

He then realized he didn't really want to fight. He didn't want to try to escape. Why should he anyway? There was nothing to go back to.

From the night Yuki hadn't been able to admit that he loved Shuichi, Shuichi felt himself losing strength. Finally, now, he had lost it completely. He had no will to fight. No will to love. No will to sing. Having no one come to his rescue had really shown him that he was alone.

"Whats wrong kid? Cat got your tongue?" Maxwell asked him with a smirk as he set a hand on his shoulder, leading him towards the doors. Shuichi glanced up, then glanced away, not bothering to reply. He simply continued to walk with the two men through the airport of New York City.

Maxwell gave his shoulder a squeeze as a warning as they walked out the doors. Shuichi's eyes grew slightly as he glanced for the first time, at the great city of New York. The air was filled with noises: sounds from horns, chatter of friends.

A man walked by wearing a blazer and jeans, his hands shoved in his pocket. He stopped at the street sign, an angry look on his face. He glanced once at his watch, then again. Finally, a younger male bounced up to him wearing jeans, a jean jacket and a cap.

The older leaned over, giving the younger a quick peck on the lips. "You worried me. I've been waiting here for hours" the older male snapped., obviously lying.

The younger one smiled sheepishly. "Its about time you wait for me…I spend all my time running after you!". The older man ruffled the younger's hair. "That's just how I like it. Lets go"

Maxwell yanked Shuichi's arm, leading him down the side walk. He was rather confused by Shuichi's sudden urge to comply, but he didn't question it.

"You see that?" Maxwell asked Shuichi, coming to a stop outside of a large, old, apartment building. "That's the place that made Yuki the kind of man he is today. But Im sure you already know what happened in there, don't you?".

Shuichi remained silent.

"No? Well then, I'll show you" Maxwell grinned, pulling Shuichi into the building.

* * *

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Coming up next...Shuichi torchered! Yuki forced to watch! Hiro, Suguru, K and Tohma to the rescue? 


	8. Reliving the Past in the Most Painful Wa...

**Chapter 8**

**Reliving the Past in the Most Painful Way**

* * *

_In one of the reviews for Chapter 7, someone thought that the building that Hiro and Ayaka were in was the same building that Kitazawa had died in. Originally, that had been my idea, but after talking with a friend, I decided that the old building was across from where Hiro and Ayaka live._

_I hope that doesn't throw anyone off!_

_Also, WARNING: This chapter may be a little…hard…also, its my first time writing these kinds of scenes so be gentle_

* * *

Yuki stared out over the city, a cold glare in his eyes and a worried feeling in his heart. 

When he had told Shuichi to back out of his life, he hadn't really expected him to. He had expected Shuichi to beg him to change his mind. But he didn't.

This was it. Yuki finally realized he had gone too far. He had finally taken Shuichi's love, his heart, his happy spirit, and he snapped it in half. "We wouldn't be in this mess...if only I loved you more" Yuki muttered, raising his right hand and resting it on his forehead for a second before pushing it up and forcing his blonde hair out of his blue eyes. "You damn brat, being with you really is hard".

He leaned over the railing on the roof, staring out to the building across the street. "They should consider getting curtains" he said to himself as he peered into Hiro and Ayaka's apartment from where he was.

He squinted and watched as Hiro opened the window and stuck his head out and looked directly in his direction. Damn it, how did they know he was up there?

Hiro stuck his arm out and motioned for him to come back.

Yuki straightened up for a moment, and looked away, as though ignoring them. Eventually though, he made his way down.

There was an elevator in the building, but because of the buildings old age, Yuki decided against using it. He took the stairs that led from the roof to the 9th floor. He kept his head low, and his hands shoved deep into his pockets as he walked down one flight of stairs, then the next, stopping only when he heard a crashing sound, followed by a cry.

Instantly, his body tensed. He recognized that cry. What made him even angrier was that he recognized the voices he heard laughing. He began to make his way down at a faster rate, taking steps two at a time. He pushed open the door that led to the flight of stairs for the 5th floor, and entered the hall.

The cries kept coming, and the laughter kept going.

He was running on nothing but anger as he stormed down the hall way, following the disturbing sounds.

He knew it had to be his Shuichi crying. After hearing the boy cry on a daily basis, he pretty much had the sound programmed into his mind. Once he found Shuichi, he'd hug him, hold him close and tell him to stop crying. And once he stopped, he'd beat him upside the head until he began to cry again, as punishment for running away.

"Shuichi" he said, as he pushed open the door from where he heard the sound. Once it fully opened, his heart stopped and he stood in shock.

The room was the same as it had been last time he was there. It was filthy and rotten, with disgusting smells of rot and urine. Graffiti decorated the walls. An opened sports bag lay across the room. Clothes of all sorts were scattered all over the floor, and over in the corner…that's where he found his lover.

He was in the corner, tears streaming down his face, as he lay on the ground naked, his body pinned beneath the two older males. His body glistened in sweat, and his face looked tired and dirty. His bottom lip was bleeding, and his cheeks were a vibrant red. Scratch marks could be seen on his arms and on his sides.

Slowly, Shuichi looked towards the door, looking at Yuki. The look on his face forced Yuki to take a step back. His gaze was so empty, so cold so…not like Shuichi. They remained there, with their eyes locked for what seemed like eternity, but a violent cry forced Yuki to blink.

Shuichi's arms rested against Maxwell's shoulders, his fingers digging into the American's back as the cries of pain escaped his lips. His hands were tied together, so he wasn't able to use them against his rapist. Maxwell gritted his teeth, and continued to move himself in and out of the boy. He chuckled a bit, rubbing Shuichi's member, "Whats wrong, don't you want to put on a show for your boyfriend?". Shuichi's nails dug into his skin, but he paid the pain little attention.

"Y-Y-Yuki" Shuichi panted, his eyes closing tightly as he turned his head away.

Maxwell stopped, and pulled Shuichi up, forcing him to wrap his legs around Maxwell's waist. He lifted Shuichi, slamming him against the wall. He let out another cry as he felt the blood trickle down his leg. Maxwell let out a growl and moved his body rhythmically, in and out, back and forward. He began slow, then increased his speed.

He froze. Yuki froze in fear. He wasn't sure what to do at this point. All he could do was stand there and watched as they violated his Shuichi. Memories of his childhood flooded back into his mind. If he hadn't picked up the gun when he was a child, it would have been him against the wall instead of Shuichi.

"Y-y-y-yuki" Shuichi moaned gently, tilting his head back. "Y-y-"

When he felt the set of arms wrap around him, it was then that he realized that Shuichi had been trying to warn him. Hiraji's arms wrapped around him tightly, pinning his arms down at his side. "Hey Eiri" Hiraji drawled into his ear, before nibbling lightly on his earlobe. Yuki's eyes grew wide and he felt his knees shake a bit. Why did they have to aim for his weak point.

"We hadn't expected you to show…but now that you're here…" Hiraji chuckled a bit.

Shuichi winced every time his body pounded against the wall. It hurt. It hurt so much but…"N-no. Leave Yuki ah-ah-lone" his breathing was heavy and filled with pain. "ple-ah!"

"S-Shut up Brat!" Yuki yelled. How dare Shuichi defend him when he was the one that was getting hurt? What was his problem? A soft growl escaped his hips and he leaned forward, ready to break free. But as the grip around him tightened, he realized he didn't have the strength.

The memory continued to replay in his mind, forcing his body to gently tremble in Hiraji's arms. Shuichi's tears reminded him of his own. Hiraji nibbled on Yuki's ear some more, and moved his arm up, resting it under Yuki's chin to prevent him from look at anything else but Shuichi.

Maxwell drove himself further into Shuichi, then stopped, pressing himself against the boy's body. Shuichi pressed against the wall, his head still tilted back. "Please….get out of me…ahh!" he complained. Maxwell responded by leaning forward and nibbling on the side of Shuichi's neck.

Yuki gritted his teeth. "Shuichi. Stop screaming, damn brat. Stop screaming!". He knew it was selfish of him to depend that Shuichi shut up when he was going through such pain, but his yelling was making Yuki nervous, and he couldn't think.

Hiraji laughed a bit more, and began lowering his hands, putting them to work at unbuttoning Yuki's shirt. He had no intention of raping Yuki again, he merely wanted to feel his chest as the writer trembled. "Eiri? Is this too much for you? Are you jealous of the fun he's having?" his tongue roamed up the side of Yuki's ear.

Yuki growled once more, and yanked forward. Hiraji let him go this time, and Yuki almost fell forward, only he caught his balance against a wall. He turned, and slid down the wall, sitting on the ground. "Get the hell away from me"

Hiraji stopped and stared at Yuki sitting in the floor. "Well doesn't this look familiar" he grinned, walking towards Yuki. "I remember it well…I was right hear, leaning over you like this…and Max was right here….Kitazawa was right in the middle….."

"Get the hell away from me!" Yuki demanded once more.

Maxwell stopped and looked in Yuki's direction. "No one told you to come here. Its you who should get away from us" .

He had a point. Yuki had come looking for them, they hadn't come looking for him. He had asked to be in this situation. He glared at Hiraji. "Give me Shuichi, and Im gone. You'll walk out of here unharmed"

Maxwell and Hiraji laughed. "We're leaving here unharmed either way"

"Just give me the kid"

Maxwell pulled himself out of Shuichi, and let him drop to the ground. Shuichi landed with a soft groan, and hugged himself.

Maxwell approached Yuki, standing next to Hiraji, shadowing over Yuki like they had done many years ago. Eiri took deep breaths as they leaned over him. Maxwell began to lean over, when a large shot rang out.

Maxwell's eyes went wide as he grabbed his chest, and stumbled forward, falling on top of Yuki.

Yuki's eyes grew wide in shock, and he looked towards the door.

"You" he whispered.

* * *

A/N: Well? Whatcha think? 


	9. Someone to die on

If Only I Loved You More

Chapter 9: Someone to Die On

Authors Note: I wanted to apologize for taking so long in getting this next chapter up. I've had a very busy week and have been suffering from an extreme case of writer's block! Don't you hate it when that happens? They should make pills for that or something.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed the previous chapters. I'm glad you enjoy the story!

Throws confetti Im celebrating the fact that I've actually reached chapter 9. On half of my stories, I never go past chapter 3! Woot woot. Go me!

Anyway, enough excuses and rambling. Here's the next chapter!

WARNING: This chapter might be a bit confusing!

* * *

Yuki pushed Maxwell's limp body off of his own, wincing slightly.

Hiraji ignored Yuki and quickly dropped to his friend's side. "Shit. Damn Max! Get up" He demanded, but the blonde didnt move. Hiraji rested his hand on the gun wound on Maxwell's chest and his eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "Bastard" he muttered, turning to look up at the one at the door. "You freakin' killed him!."

Hiraji stood up, his hands balled into fists at his sides. He took large breaths as he tried to calm his anger. "I'm gonna-"

"Please, don't move"

Hiraji stared for a moment, then laughed, taking a step foward. "What, you gonna shoot me too?" He took another step foward. At this point, his mind was completely cluttered by his anger, and he wasn't thinking clearly. "Go ahead, take the shot" he taunted. "Bitch, take the shot."

A suprised look consumed his face as a fist flew out, punching him across the face. He fell backwards onto the ground and rested on his elbows. He lifted a hand to touch his nose then pulled his hand away to look at the specks of blood.

"You dont attack a lady" Hiro spoke angrily, stepping over towards Hiraji and crouching down over him. "Especially my girlfriend" he added with narrowed eyes. Hiro punched him once more, "and you dont attack my best friend!".

With the second punch to the face, Hiraji let out a loud groan before falling flat on the ground, unconsious. Hiro stood up, and turned back to look at Ayaka, holding his hand out to her.

Ayaka dropped the gun and stood there for a moment, still in slight shock about the fact that she had fired a gun and taken someone's life. Once she snapped from her trance, she looked over to Shuichi's naked, abused body laying on the ground, curled up in a fetal position. She looked to Yuki, who sat on the ground in shock, blood staining the center of his shirt. She looked to the body of Maxwell laying lifeless on the ground.

She took Hiro's hand and allowed him to pull her to his chest, hugging her tightly. She rested against him for a brief moment, then pulled away. Suddenly, she felt tired and overwhelmed by what was going on around her. She wanted to go home and take a warm shower,go to sleep, and forget that any of this had ever happened. But she couldnt because there was someone there who needed her...even if he didnt love her.

"Yuki" she spoke gently, to avoid startling him. She reached out to him, "Are you alright?" she rested her hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Yuki stared up at her with cold,angry eyes. He felt cold and clammy. He raised his hand and shoved hers off his shoulder as he lifted himself onto his feet. "Dont touch me". His gaze turned over to Hiro who was crouching down next to Shuichi. "And get away from him"

Hiro began to protest, but the gaze that Yuki gave him made him back off. "Im going to call an ambulance"

"No. Im taking him home now" Yuki replied, taking off his jacket, but Hiro was already gone. Ayaka stood at the door as though she had intentions of stopping him if he tried to leave with the wounded boy.

"I will make you move if I have to Ayaka" Yuki told her, though he kept his eyes on his silent lover. "I'm very pissed off right now. Don't make me take it out on you"

Ayaka didnt respond. She knew that Yuki was telling the truth. He could easily make her move.

Yuki picked Shuichi up once he wrapped him up in the jacket he had been wearing and stopped. Shuichi felt so warm, so sweaty. He looked rather pale as well. "Shu" Yuki said to him. "Look at me"

The boy didnt look at Yuki. Instead, he turned slowly, curling up in Yuki's arms, resting his head against Yuki's chest, "It hurts" he said gently.

Yuki looked down upon his little idiot, but didnt say anything. What was there to say? This was all his fault? If he hadn't been so rude to Shuichi, if he hadn't pushed him away, Shuichi would have never had the urge to leave. He would have never opened his doors to Hiraji and Max. He would have never ended up here.

"Stop complaining, brat" he whispered, holding him closer to his chest.

"Yuki..I'm sorry" Shuichi then said slowly. "I-I was weak...I called for you...I made you re-live something terrible"

"Shut up, idiot" Yuki replied sharply. "None of this is your fault"

"Then whose is it?" Hiro asked, re-entering the old appartment, followed by two men dressed in light blue. One carried a medical bag, while the other pulled the stretcher along. The two men were followed by another four men, each pair with stretchers.

Yuki glared at Hiro. He had told Hiro not to call for help, but he did it anyway. What was his problem?

One of the men approached Yuki and pointed to the stretcher. "We're going to take him now sir". The stretcher was pulled over so that Yuki could set Shuichi down. Yuki began to, reluctantly, but Shuichi held onto his shirt.

"Yuki..I dont want to go to a hospital..."

"Shh. They're going to fix you up. Let them do their job" Yuki instructed, pulling Shuichi's fingers from his shirt.

"But Im scared of needles!" Shuichi complained.

Yuki felt like smacking him over the head. After all he had just been through, he was worried about needles? There was definetly something wrong with this kid. "Too Bad" Yuki replied, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Shuichi looked at Yuki then closed his eyes, laying back on the stretcher. He felt the stretcher begin to move, and he heard people muttering things over him. He couldnt understand them though, for everything they said was in English. Suddenly, the stretcher stopped, but Shuichi didnt bother opening his eyes.

He felt someone loom over him and instantly he tensed. When he felt a set of warm lips touch his forehead, he opened his eyes. Yuki loomed over him, his eyes closed. His lips remained pressed against Shuichi's forehead for a second longer before he pulled away.

Shuichi remained motionless for a moment, slightly suprised by Yuki's actions.

"Y-yuki does this mean you love me?"

Yuki turned his head to the side and watched as two of the paramedics zipped up the body bag containing Maxwell's corpse. He then watched as the stretcher with Hiraji was wheeled out. He wrinkled his nose. The smell of blood and sweat and urine was still strong in the room.

"Yuki?" Shuichi whispered again as the stretcher began to move out. He whimpered a bit, wanting an answer from the blonde writer. But as the stretcher exited the room, he realised he wasnt getting one.

He never would.

He began to cry again, quietly. He had just been violated. His body was bruised, cut and bleeding, but still, that pain was nothing compared to the pain his heart was feeling now.

Yuki didn't move after him, nor did he say anything. He simply stood there, soaking in the silence and terrible smells. "Your friends an idiot" He muttered to Hiro.

"I figured you'd love him more after this" Hiro said in an angry tone, "After all. Your both the same now"

"Same? Me and that brat? I don't think so" Yuki replied.

"Your right. You aren't the same. Shuichi's greater than you"

Yuki forced himself to laugh at that comment, and he turned to look at Hiro, staring him in the eye. "How so?" he asked. The words burned within him.

"Because even after everything that's been thrown at him, he hasnt become cold hearted. He's dealt with it, and he's triumphed. He isn't like you, who prefers to be cold and hide so he doesnt get hurt"

"You dont know what your talking about" Yuki said now, in a more angered tone as he stepped foward. "You know nothing about me".

"You'd be suprised. Shuichi used to spend countless hours at my appartment when you kicked him out for something stupid. Even when you were a jackass, he loved you. He couldnt stop talking about you. I know plenty about you" Hiro snapped back, leaning foward.

Ayaka grabbed Hiro's arm and pulled back gently. "Hiro. We have to go" she said to him. Hiro could feel her hand shaking gently on his arm. "Someone should be with Mr. Shindou while he's at the hospital. He doesnt speak any english. He'll need you there"

Hiro nodded and rested his hand on Ayaka's. "Your right" He turned to leave, but Yuki stopped him. He turned back around, looking at the blonde with a raised brow.

"How'd you know to come in here, and where did you two get a gun?" He asked, his eyes narrowing.

Hiro grinned gently at this and turned back around, leaving with Ayaka. "You arent the only one in Shuichi's life with secrets Yuki. You arent the only man of mystery in his life either"

"What are you talking about?" Yuki asked, stepping foward, his hands balled into fists.

Hiro ignored him and with a large smile, he exited the room.

* * *

A/N: The end? 


	10. Love and Adventure

**Chapter 10 **

**Love and Adventure**

* * *

Authors Note: Sorry it's taken me so long to update yet again. I know I promised to be on the ball, and keep up with the deadlines I set for myself, but it's been hard. Since it's the end of the year, we've been getting alot of work, and it's been difficult for me to balance both the task of writing a good chapter and getting all my homework done. 

Well, this is it! This is the last chapter of the story! I hope everyone's enjoyed it. It was very fun writing it. I'm very glad that I recieved so many reviews for this story. I've never gotten this far before. Please stay tuned for the sequal to this story called 'Lovers Journey'. It picks up just where this story ends, and then some!

* * *

Yuki's golden orbs narrowed as he watched Hiro leave the room with a shooken up Ayaka at his side. Was the jerk suggesting that there was someone else in Shuichi's life that could actually take care of him? If that was true..who could it be? Shuichi talked about everyone and everything with Yuki. If there was anyone that the brat was amazingly close to, Yuki would know, and so far the only person who met that standard was Hiro. 

Was Hiro the mystery man? No, too obvious. He snapped out of his thoughts as he heard some noise coming from outside. There were atleast five people on their way to the room. Yuki was sure it was the police coming to investigate the scene. People sure did work quickly here, but of course Yuki knew that. The people of New York took murder very seriously. It was for that reason that Yuki decided to make his leave before he ended up surrounded by cops that wanted to take him in for questioning.

After taking one quick glance around the room at the horror he had just experienced, he crept out of it, heading down the left hall to avoid running into the officers. As he walked down the hall, it dawned on him that he hadn't bothered to find out what hospital they had been taking Shuichi to. What was the closest hospital? Obviously, they would go there.

He stopped at the bottom of the stairs and sat down on the last step to think about what he would do next. The door opened with a loud screech because of rusty hinges. "What are you doing here Tohma?" Yuki asked with a gentle glare. Was Tohma the man of mystery Hiro had mentioned?.

"Eiri" Tohma began speaking gently. "I came as soon as I heard what had happened, are you alright?". He was sure that even though he hadn't been physically hurt, his mind was probably very damaged.

Yuki pulled a cigarrette from his coat pocket and lit it with his lighter. He put it away slowly, allowing his eyes to linger on the picture of him and Shuichi together. "How? It just happened Seguchi. I'm not in the mood for games" Yuki replied, releasing some smoke from his mouth. Tohma stared at Yuki with pitty in his eyes before he approached the blonde writer. He pulled Yuki into a tight hug and rested his head on top of Yuki's.

"Everything is alright Eiri, theres no need to be upset anymore" he spoke gently. Yuki's arms moved slowly, wrapping around Tohma's back, and slowly the tears began to drip from his eyes.

"I didnt mean to hurt him Tohma. I didnt wa-"

"It's okay Eiri, we know. No one will be hurt anymore. I will make sure of it"

"I just want to see him Tohma. I want to find Shuichi...Will you help me?" Yuki closed his eyes. The cigarrette fell from his mouth and onto the floor next to his feet. He pressed his face against Tohma's chest and took deep breaths as he waited for Tohma to reply. It had taken it some time, but finally, what had just happened was beginning to take a toll. "Well?"

"I will help you Eiri. You know I will...but for the time being, it is you that I am concerned about. Perhaps it is best that you return home"

"No" Yuki protested, pushing Tohma away slightly. He stood, head straight, composing himself. In the past, he had allowed himself to be pursuaded by Tohma, his sister, and his shrink, but this time, he knew what he wanted to do, and he didn't care what anyone else told him. "I don't need you anymore Tohma" were his last words, as he exited the building, re-lighting another cigarette.

Tohma watched Yuki leave and he frowned slightly as he reached into his pocket, pulling out his cell phone.

'Mr. Seguchi?' The voice questioned on the other line.

"Yes, he reacted just as we thought he would. I hoped we would not have to resort to this, but he has left me no choice" Tohma spoke, staring at the door of the building.

'So we go on as planned?'

"Yes. We go on as planned. Now, if you will excuse me, there are some people upstairs I need to speak to" Tohma hung up the phone, then dropped the mobile device back into his pocket as he headed up the stairs.

If there was anyone in this world who knew what was best for Yuki, it was Tohma. Tohma would protect Yuki at all costs..

Whether he liked it or not.

* * *

Hiro hung up his phone and sighed loudly as he hung up his cell phone. K was on his way over, and though he meant well by doing so, Hiro knew he would only make matters worse. He always did. Hiro looked down at his watch and pushed away from the wall. He had decided to stay with Shuichi until Ayaka got back with the coffee. Really though, he hadn't had a choice, Hiro was the only one who knew enough english to speak with the doctors, even if his vocabulary wasnt the best. 

He turned his gaze over to Shuichi, who rested on the medical bed, wrapped up in two white sheets. Even as he rested, his face looked exhausted. He admired Shuichi, for being able to deal with so much. Hiro wasn't sure how he would have reacted if he had been in Shuichi's shoes.

A loud screech and some yelling snapped him from his thoughts, and he smacked his forehead. K was here. He counted down to the very minute the door burst open and K stood at the door way, his hands at his hips. "Sorry I'm late" he apologized, entering the room. He stopped infront of Shuichi's bed before whistling once.

"You told me he was in bad shape but..."He pressed his hand against his forehead. "Well, I guess I have to do something about this.." he reached at his holster, ready to put his gone to use.

Hiro turned and grabbed his wrist, glaring slightly. "I'm not in the mood for games K. Thats my best friend laying in that bed. My best friend" he snapped, shaking his head slightly. He felt guilty for allowing this to happen.

K looked at him for a moment with a raised brow before taking his other hand and ruffling Hiro's hair. "Don't worry Nakano..he's going to be fine. Shindou always bounces back"

"That isn't the point K" Hiro sighed, letting go of K's wrist and crossing his arms over his chest. "The point is that I let this happen...I shouldn't have come to New York with Ayaka. I should have been at Shuichi's side"

"If you hadn't come to New York with Ayaka, you wouldn't have been here to help Shuichi when he was being attacked" K pointed out, taking on a serious tone. "If you hadn't of come, he could have been more than just raped"

"And the only reason I was able to help him was because I got a call telling me what was going on..."

K's brows furrowed. "A call? Someone called you and told you Shuichi was being attacked?" He scratched his chin. That sounded a little odd to him. "Who was it?"

"I don't know" Hiro replied, then turned to look at K, "I didn't pay attention...Damn it. What if the one who called was working with Maxwell and Hiraji?" he pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers.

K placed a hand on Hiro's shoulders, "Don't worry, I dout that's the case. We'll take care of Shindou. Nothing like this will ever happen again" he gave the shoulder a squeeze, and Hiro turned to look up into K's blue eyes.

"It better not happen again..."

"It won't" K assured him with a small smile. He stared back down at Hiro, locking his eyes with the other's. After a minute, he realized he was staring, and turned away. "It's my job to watch all of you"

"I don't need to be watched" Hiro reminded him.

K laughed a bit, "Yeah, but it would be my pleasure"

For some odd reason, Hiro blushed at his comment, and went back to staring at Shuichi. The pink haired boy stirred gently, opening his eyes, then slowly sitting up, groaning. "I feel like I've been hit by a truck..." he complained.

"Look like it too" K pointed out with a laugh. "We're sorry Yuki couldn't be here"

"Couldn't? More like didn't want to.." Shuichi smiled softly, "but that's okay I guess..I never thought I'd say it...but I..I need to stay away from Yuki..."

This caught both K and Hiro by suprise. "What?" they asked in unison.

"I know I was the one who was raped...but..I know Yuki's the one who is hurting the most..having to relive something that he tried to hard to forget..I don't want to hurt him..the only way to do that is to stay away from him"

"Your not getting away from me that easily brat" Yuki spoke from the door way, his arm resting against the frame as he stood there with his eyes closed. "I'm not letting you get away. I've finally realized...how much I love you"

"Yuki" Shuichi felt the tears build up in his eyes and a smile came onto his face.

Yuki looked over to Hiro and K, giving them a cold look. K coughed and began heading towards the door, pulling a reluctant Hiro out behind him. Yuki approached the bed once the two were out and sat on the edge of the bed. "Listen Brat..." he began speaking.

Shuichi listened to every word that Yuki said, his spirits soaring with every word. Once Yuki stopped speaking, a suprised look came onto his face, and he hugged the blonde tightly. Slowly, the blonde hugged him back. "Shuichi?" he leaned over and whispered something into the boy's ear.

* * *

Meanwhile...Outside, K and Hiro sat in the waiting room, watching the TV, waiting for Yuki to leave. While they waited, K's cell phone rang, and he lifted it to his ear. Hiro turned in his seat to look at K, wondering who was calling. K tensed up but hung the phone up shortly after. 

"Who was it?"

"...Mr. Seguchi..."

"What did he want?"

"For us to get Yuki and Shuichi back home"

K stood up from his seat and headed back to the room. He knocked gently, and when he recieved no answer, he pulled out his bazooka and backed up. "Here I go!" he shouted and blew down the door. Once the smoke cleared, Hiro and K stepped into the room.

"Damn. This isn't good..." Hiro muttered.

The room was empty, and there was no sign of Yuki or Shuichi, aside from their two cell phones resting side by side on the bed and a small note that said: Off to Paradise

Hiro picked it up and growled a bit, just as Ayaka entered the room holding a coffee tray. She blinked a bit and looked at Hiro. "Is...everything...alright?"

"Just fine Babe. But I'm gonna have to steal your boyfriend here" Turning to look at Hiro, K grinned. "Private, we've got a new mission to acomplish"

* * *

A/N: Well..what'cha think? Be sure to check out the sequal! 


	11. Thank you for Reading

**If Only I Loved You More**

I know that this should have been posted shortly after the story was complete, but I haven't been able to bring myself to do it. Everytime I sat down to write this, I got so emotional...this is the first story I've ever finished!

I'm so glad it did so well, and I wanted to thank everyone who reead and reviewed each and every chapter. Your reviews really made everything worth it!

I hope you all enjoy the sequal to this story: _Lover's Journey_, almost as much as you enjoyed this one.

Again, thank you so much for reading!

**Ai Shiteru, **

**PyrokineticFeral**


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